FOREVER AN I-G!

Now that I am away from FAMU, I am really starting to utilize and appreciate the lessons I learned while on the hill. I have heard many alumni who proceeded me talk about life after FAMU - they say that once you're gone you'll appreciate the trials and tribulations that FAMU brought upon you, because it makes you stronger. It prepares you to compete against the best the world has to offer. I realize now that these alumni are undeniably right, and as I think about the lessons that I took away from FAMU, the one that I am utilizing the most at this time in my life is the importance of I-G'ing.

At FAMU when you become interested in a greek organization you become an "I-G." I remember the days before I became an Alpha and how I wanted to be apart of this organization so bad. I remember dreaming about it, and I was willing to sacrifice, work hard, and go the extra mile to secure my spot in Alpha Land. Although Alpha Phi Alpha is a non-pledging and non-hazing organization, in my mind there was no such thing as calling too much or being overly persistent. I had to be tenacious. I had to prove that I wanted it severely!

Needless-to-say I became an Alpha, and I proudly wear the letters across my chest. Although I've crossed over to the other side, and I've obtained the rights and privileges of being apart of a black greek letter organization, I still consider myself an I-G. These days I'm simply I-G'ing to another organization - the film industry.

So, I am taking the same desire, the same persistence, the same tenacity, and the same determination that I used in my pursuit to become an Alpha, and I'm applying them to my new goal. I am realizing that I have to go to events so my face will be known. I am willing to call a contact 10 times even though they never answer, and I will still have the courage to call back again. I won't forget that no one owes me anything, and it is a privilege to even be considered. I will remember that sleep is an option and excuses are tools of incompetence.

When I really think about it, I believe that I will forever be an I-G, because I will always be trying to get something that somebody else has. I will always be trying to achieve a goal that I have yet to accomplish. There is no time for complacency and mediocrity as a standard is unacceptable. I have to be tight and thorough at all time, because you never know when the train is going to come - and I'll be damned if I let it pass me by.

I learned to let go

For the past two years I’ve been working on an independent television drama series in Tallahassee that I became apart of when I auditioned and received a role on the cast during the first season of production. I honestly fell in love with the idea of becoming a filmmaker as a result of working on this project. I was excited when the director decided to go into production of a second season and asked me to write and produce for the show. We began working on the second season in January of this year and have been going non-stopped ever since.

Myself along with the other producers have sacrificed much to make sure the project is a success. I personally can reflect on many nights when I stayed up late writing an episode when I needed to be studying for a test I had in the morning. I can think back to four-hour rehearsals and weekends where my entire day was consumed with filming. I remember the phone calls and text messages I received from friends and frat brothers wanting to hang out, but I couldn’t because I was on set. Or even more recently paying for the season’s DVD’s with my credit card. This show along with the people involved had become a major part of my life. A part of my life that I enjoyed and nurtured simply because I wanted it to succeed; because I believed it had relevance and potential.

A few days ago I woke up and something inside of me was different. In my last post I wrote that internally I was preparing to move, but I was holding on to some things that I needed to let go of. Ever since I made the decision to move to Los Angeles, I’ve been leaning and completely trusting in God, because I knew that the only way I was going to make it was through his favor. I’ve been learning to listen to his voice and to be willing to go if he says go or to stay and be still if he says so.

I felt God saying let go of the TV show and the other film projects associated with it. At first I struggled with being able to do that. How could I let go of something that had been such a big part of my life? How could I completely give up a project that I had given my time, my money, and my energy to, and not except to receive the fruits of my labor? But, God said let it go, and so on Friday while riding with one of the cast members to attend a screening that was planned for the show in a town near Jacksonville, Florida, I decided to let it all go right then and there. We had stopped at a gas station, and before we could pull off I told the driver that I wasn’t going. He could take me back to Tallahassee or leave me at the gas station. It didn’t matter. He chose to take me back, and I explained to the executive producers that I could no longer be apart of the project. I didn’t expect them to understand my decision, but I did expect them to be angry. I guess they had a right to be. But, one thing that I’ve come to realize is that when God gives you something, it’s not for anyone else to understand. I had to follow peace, and so that is what I did.

I wish the show and everyone involved with it much success. Although some friendships have been broken as a result of my decision, I simply realized that it wasn’t my blessing, and God has something else for me. I will admit that it hurt to let go, but at least now I know that the thing inside of me that had fallen off is now back on its shelf.